Team Blog Post – Micaela Janse Van Rensburg for Swallowing Clouds

BLOG #1

It’s a crisp Friday afternoon in October
I step off the busy streetcar onto a corner of an even busier intersection
It’s been another uncertain and unpredictable week as an artist
A week of trying to muster inspiration, of performances getting cancelled
A week of waiting to hear back about applications, and dealing with mysterious new aches and
pains
My mind is inundated with thoughts:
Am I doing this right?
Am I doing enough?
Is this good? Interesting?
I’m not sure about this…
How do I know, when will I know, who knows?
A week of searching and hoping
Grasping for certainty
I walk through the library doors, exhale, I have a job to do
It’s time for Swallowing Clouds
We don’t know who we will meet today, who will walk through those doors to join us
We don’t know what will happen, each session being different from the one before
Things don’t go exactly as planned
We listen, we follow impulses, we pivot, we allow things to unfold as they may
We invite tangents and randomness
There are no wrong ideas here
“This is not a pipe cleaner, it’s a telephone”
“The colour red sounds like ka-booming apples”
We connect with our senses instead of trying to make sense of
As the session goes on, my earlier anxiety is replaced with pleasure and curiosity

Together we have untethered our imaginations from the need to know
As I step back into the bustling world outside, I’m reminded that creativity thrives in uncertainty
Each week may bring its own set of challenges,
but it is within the unknown that we discover new ideas and possibilities
By embracing spontaneity and allowing ourselves to be led by curiosity,
we open the door to a richer, more vibrant creative experience
Swallowing Clouds reminds me that creativity is not about having all the answers
It’s about being willing to explore and play in the vast expanse of what could be

BLOG #2

One of the most special aspects of my role as a Swallowing Clouds Apprentice Facilitator is the
opportunity to attend poetry workshops with our resident poet, Erin Robinsong. During these
professional development sessions, Erin shares poems she has written specifically for the
program. We read the poems together and then do some kind of activity based on the poem. This is
often the first time I am encountering these poems, and it’s always interesting to approach them
from the perspective of a Swallowing Clouds participant and not a facilitator.
These poems are crafted for children, but as an adult, I still find there is much to discover, like
deeper truths about life. Apart form the formal content of the poems, I believe part of the magic
comes from experiencing and engaging with the poetry as a group. For example, at our last session,
we explored the Sestina, a poetic form, and wrote our own using words that emerged from our
conversations and discussion that day. Our resulting poem was a cathartic and reflective diary of
our day from many perspectives. It aptly captured our collective consciousness.
Before joining Swallowing Clouds, I never thought of poetry as a group activity. I always saw it as a
solitary experience—whether as a reader or a writer. At this point in my career as an emerging
dance artist, it’s sometimes easy to get stuck in a very lonely way of working and thinking. I think
this happens for many reasons, including self doubt, creative blockages, and comparison to others.
For me, it is often the self-imposed pressure to “come up with something”, have an individual
perspective, and make my voice heard.
Creating this poem together on our PD Day reminded me that I don’t always need to have an answer
or a response. We needed only to notice what was already present in the space between us to
create a surprisingly poignant poem in just a few minutes. Jenny Odell, a multi-disciplinary visual
artist and writer said, “Even if you’re like me, and you have what looks like a highly solitary process,
appreciate how much of your thinking happens in conversations with others, in encounters with
unexpected ideas and situations. You can’t control that kind of stuff, and you shouldn’t want to.
There are infinite possibilities between you and other people, especially the ones you wouldn’t
expect.”
Through the poetry workshop with Erin Robinsong, I was reminded that creativity isn’t a solitary
pursuit, but a collective journey, shaped by the conversations, interactions, and connections we
have with others. By embracing the unexpected, letting go of control, and staying open to what is
around us, we can discover deeper layers of meaning and creativity. This experience has reinforced
the importance of being present in the moment, trusting the process, and allowing space for
creativity to unfold without the weight of expectation.